Not-Me Monday! Feb 9, 2009

OK, ready again for a conscience-clearing Monday confession session, because I'm tired of shouldering guilt or embarrassment about this crazy stuff. Not Me! Monday! was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

After losing yet another weekend to a lovely hospital stay, I did not sleep as much of today away as I could (like 4 hrs?). Because Mallorie just got discharged yesterday, and our house is in need of months of nonstop cleaning days. Instead, I sat down and wrote out a neat little to-do list and started attacking the items on the list. You believe that, right? So read on....

It wasn't I who dreamed all night of cancelling the appointment with the Early Childhood dietician today, because I just couldn't stand to delve into the topic of feeding issues one more time.

I'm also not the one who was somewhat disappointed when Lewis did come, and weighed her, and I saw her weight was the same as it has been, despite all the recent vomiting adventures. Because I surely didn't think it was a minor accidental bonus that her weight seemed to be down a lb in the hospital on Saturday. I surely don't want her losing weight! (I don't!) And I also wouldn't wonder if she would be more comfortable just a tad bit less fluffy.

About three weeks ago, when the folks at our annoying medical supply company decided in their infinite wisdom, that Mini-One extension feeding tubes are exactly the same as Mic-Key feeding tubes, after we had already learned that the much bulkier Mini-One tubes are heavier and cause bleeding at Mal's g-tube site, AND that our syringes are not compatible with the ports of the Mini's tube, I did not panic. And then when I realized that we had no more Mic-Key tubes to use, I certainly wouldn't have thought of going to Ebay to look for tubes. I've never done Ebay without the assistance (and PayPal account) of friends, because that place scares the poop out of me. So I never actually asked Carley to set up a PayPal account so I could do searches for Mic-Key tubings. Or start bidding without reading all the instructions for buying on Ebay. So when I saw a "lot" of 3 Mic-Key tubings, and enterred my first-ever bid, only to find I'd been outbid, I never, ever typed in $1700 as my maximum bid, when I had meant to type in $17.00. I didn't call and wake Tamara up, .. Oh, I mean I didn't make John call and wake Tamara up so I could freak out all over her, as if she was the one who had encouraged me to be a big girl and open my own PayPal account for Ebay! No, she never did that, and none of those other things happened over here.
So since that happened, I never did have to wait out a long day at work, unable to check on the status of that particular Ebay auction, to see what the final damage was. And Dr. B didn't tell me to "take a breath," when I told her about this while I was still awaiting the "verdict!" Take a breath!?! Up to $1700 plus shipping for 3 feeding tubes???

I also did not take a shower this time, before going into the hospital with Mallorie on Saturday, because for ONCE, it did not feel as emergent as her other ER trips had been! Something would have felt wrong about that... "Emergency" Room visit plus Mommy-gets-to-take-a-shower-first-and-get-clean-clothes-on just feel like they don't go together, except it is SO tiring to always race in there with hair standing on end and vomit all over your clothes, and baby poop.

Goodness, I didn't get nervous about people wondering why I would have poop on my clothes, so I didn't feel the need to go back and add to the previous sentence, baby poop!

And I am not feeling a little guilty, still, for never adding the extra pictures that I've promised in the past, that I'm going to put them here:

The photogenic Dr. H, who gave Mallorie her new g-button while she was hospitalized. THIS one actually taken in 2nd hospitalization in Dec, and the button was placed after Mommy accidentally popped the first one out by kneeling on her dangling tubing while picking her up. Ick! Umm, I mean it wasn't me who did that! Was someone else, altogether.


Girlfriends getting upgrades on their buttons, same day, same wonderful Dr. H.


Aww, there are too many, now that I have started, so more later on. I promise. I think.

Not Me Monday! January 19, 2009

My favorite way of letting my OCD worries fly away. Confessing what I did not do in the past week, in McMama style. So I can be free from replaying those things in my mind, and move on to bigger and better (present) things.

This past week, after it began to look like Mallorie might have developed an allergy to latex, I did NOT spend several minutes wondering how we might still be able to let her keep (and wear) her cool Old Navy socks with the rubber nonslip tread. I would never have done that simply because those were my favorite of her socks. Especially not after the suspect reactions she had were affecting her FEET! And one foot seemed to be affected because of one of these socks!
I am not still mourning the loss of Mallorie's ability to wear cool Old Navy and Baby Gap nonslip tread socks. With the tread made of rubber. "Nonslip" for a baby who cannot walk, so the only slipping or skidding she's going to do is if we manage to somehow let her fall off the couch again!!!

But I have so many of these cute socks, and in so many sizes. :(

When I heard one of Mallorie's hospital nurses telling me this cool story about how someone invented a technique for changing a colostomy dressing, I did NOT spend the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how to adapt that technique (involving use of a tampon) for containing Mallorie's profuse watery diarrhea.

I also did not almost stop her bowels up. Twice. By mixing baby barley cereal with food and putting it down her tube, because I'd read that oatmeal and barley were grains highest in soluble fiber, and hoped it would thicken the poop. Oh, but it did thicken the poop, ... to the texture of rubber bouncy balls that shot out like cannonballs with a "wash" of watery diarrhea behind them. So once she had strained and cried throughout much of one day when I'd given the barley cereal, ... I certainly didn't try the same cereal AGAIN, on another day!!

And I did not hold onto a bowl of oatmeal that came on the breakfast tray one morning in the hospital, but hid it, because I didn't want Dr. B to see it. Because oatmeal is the other high-in-soluble-fiber grain that we already KNOW has stopped Mallorie up in the past. Scary stopped up, so I woke up in a cold sweat in the nighttime, after one day when I had given her 1/2 cup of steel cut oats. I was sure she was going to need emergency surgery for a bowel obstruction. But this time, if I HAD done this hiding of the bowl of oatmeal, it would have been because she was still having profuse watery diarrhea, and would have needed the stoppage. You know?

Plus, it's so cool to be able to put real foods in that danged tube! But, I didn't do it, right? Good thing.

And I didn't make a post about chairs yesterday, instead of about what happened the previous weekend that got us into the hospital again with Mallorie, 3rd time in 2 months. Because I'm not one for procrastinating or using any other form of avoidance of painful things. I just plow straight on in, and face things, so I can move past them. But, if I DID do such a thing, you might have to be patient with me. I'm just not ready yet.

And I didn't spend all day researching my favorite bulb syringe (AKA nasal aspirator, AKA ear and nose ulcer syringe, whatever that means), to see if it is latex-free. ALL day. And most I could figure out was that it might be made of PVC. Whatever that is. Which might be latex-free.

And I must not have then realized that the one I have (and love, because it's such a great color, and better fit for older nostrils than the U.G.L.Y. red ones you get to bring home from most L&D experiences) has to be at least 14 years old. Because I think it came home from the hospital with Hannah. So even IF they are latex-free PVC now, they might have been latex rubber 14 years ago. :(