Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The verdict

I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon this afternoon, and learned that what was removed was cancer. Well, that was actually a shock, more, I guess than it should have been, but I had no strong feelings that it would be positive. Shows what I know.

I do have to have chemo, now. Talk about a whole new road ahead, and I don't know the route. But I do know Who does, and I am still amazed by His care for me. The tumor that showed up on the CT that led to us finding this diagnosis, was not in the bowel, but nearby. I had several months of recurrent vomiting, that resulted in the CT being done in an ER visit. Then, one more episode of vomiting, and then NOTHING. The last time I had the problem was June. But nothing about this tumor would have caused symptoms, yet. In fact, the surgeon today said that it might have taken a year more for me to start having symptoms, and by then, it would obviously have been more advanced. So I've been thinking that God just wanted it out, and allowed me to have all those episodes just long enough for someone to have a reason to do the testing, so this could be found early enough.

I have prayed during this waiting period, that it would NOT be cancer, and kept adding, that it was because I just want an easier route. I mean, God already knows, but I guess I wanted Him to understand that I feel safer with Him now, since Mallorie. Safer in His choices for me. More confident in His love, so I didn't always say it, but He knows what I meant ... that I knew He knew best for me, and I was deferring to Him. And God loves me, and clearly wants me to grow some more.

So please pray for me while I learn and grow. And for my family.


Paula71 said...

I am praying for you and your family as you walk this new path GOD has laid before you.

Paula Thompson

Laurie in Ca. said...

You and your family have my prayers Connie. Cancer is always a shock to hear, and when I heard it back in 1996, God just took the drivers wheel out of my hands and I was along for the ride. He brought me through the chemo day by day and showed me He "had me and wasn't going to let go". I am praying the same for you sweet friend, and am here for you along this new path. I mean this. I love you and know that He will keep His promise to you.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Finding Normal said...

Oh Connie. I'm praying and crying. I'm so sorry to hear you have another path ahead of you. are strong. Your family is strong. Your support system is strong and your faith is strong.
I will expect much more frequent blogging now, ma'am. You must get it all out and keep us updated.
<3 ya!

Jacquie said...

Very sorry to hear of this additional stress and worry. I hope you allow those around you to give you help and a piece of their strength. It's so easy for Mom's to be the ones saying, it's alright, I got it... I know when I'm able to help someone, it makes me feel better. When people offer, just like you, they really mean it. Take a moment for yourself, whether to cry or laugh.

poolja said...

What a beautiful, faith-filled post in the midst of another great trial! I am so sorry this was cancer. In our human minds, it seems like far more than you should have to bear, but as you said so perfectly God does know exactly what is best for us.

I will continue to pray for you and your family that God will be your strength and comfort through this difficult time.


The VW's said...

I will certainly be praying for you and your family! I think that you have a wonderful outlook on your situation! This outlook is definitely going to help you get through this trying time! I'm not sure that I would be so positive, but thanks for your inspiration of trying to look for the bright side of all situations!

God has a plan for you! We ALL need to be reminded of this fact and we ALL could use a time of learning and growing!

I pray that God will give you peace, strength and grace as you walk your present road! Love, Hugs and Prayers!!!

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Oh my, I am so sorry to hear this news. I was thinking about you last night and praying for good results.

I hope Mallorie's appt went well.

Anonymous said...

Sweet, Sweet Connie:

I am so sorry to hear your news. I can not even being to feel your pain. Please know that you and your family is in my prayers and always will be. If I can offer you any assistance what so ever, please honor me with the request. Cathy can give you my number any time. You are one of the strongest people I know, I have all the faith that you and your family will remain with God and make all the right decisions in the tough days ahead. God Bless
Edie Comeaux

Anonymous said...


Your faith just amazes me. I wish I lived close enough to help in some way.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayer as well as your precious family all the way up in Canada.


laura said...

i just read this- it's sunday. my friend, my friend. you are not alone as you face this new trial. know that. jesus beside you and family close- and friends in town that consider you a sister. who will help- who love you and your precious family. so thankful that as i read this, i am not living in tennesse unable to help in any way but by praying for a wonderful lady i don't even know- but instead i am mere miles away. and that I can now pray and help. please call if you need to talk. i will call this week. give my love to the family- i love you.