Let's see. I did not panic after publishing last week's Not Me Monday post, and eventually remove the "disclaimer" that had been at the bottom of the post before too many people read how my mind can wander if I'm sleep-deprived.
I did NOT fall asleep for 3 hrs on Sunday, after returning from the "retreat" I got to do this weekend. I mean, retreats mean rest, and hours and hours of refreshing sleep. So I returned well-rested.
I did not forget to pack PJ's for the retreat, and then just before leaving on Thursday evening, grab my oldest pair of torn-up sweat pants and t-shirt, and then feel so relieved on the last morning that I had woken up early enough to have showered before it was "time" to rise. Because wet hair does not beat tattered "PJ's" on any day on retreats.
I did not laugh out loud this evening, when I re-read the "Retreat" post from Thursday and saw this: But you know I occasionally seem to worry, anyway, .... And I cannot hear anyone who knows me in real life, reading that and gasping, "Really?? You??"
I was not at all an anxious freak about going away this weekend, nor did I have flashbacks about that NYC "Wilderness Experience" I did years and years ago in college, during which Nancy Mean dropped our class on 42nd street (not The New 42, the Old 42nd Street, the "Deuce") and told us to spend 2 hrs "sightseeing," and then find our way by subway to our next destination. At night. Or remember getting dropped off in the middle of the woods to stay for 24 hrs with only water, pencil and paper, sleeping bag, .... and no toilet paper. So I never associated the secrecy of all of this event with those experiences. And I do not wonder, after all these years, why I was the one always pretending to be unafraid on those wilderness experiences, because I was by far the bravest retreatant to attend this weekend. Untold numbers of people were blown away by my courage, wild dancing, singing, and generally loose fun-loving personality!
Because I had no anxieties about the unknown elements of the retreat I was to be going on, I did not just a few days before I went, bully/annoy/nag/cajole my friend whose name I cannot mention here, or my daughter (again, not mentioning names and she's NOT a blog contributor) to give me just enough details to calm me down. I would never have done that because they were sworn to silence, and I have no fear of letting go, .... not me!
And I am not feeling that words would be inadequate to express the gratitude I feel to so many new sisters for welcoming me into their hearts and lives, and to some of them for expressing surprise and disappointment (in a totally complementary and laughable way) when they found out somewhere at the end of the retreat that I was not Catholic (because it was a Catholic retreat). I didn't chuckle when they told me that they think I'd make "an awesome Catholic." I felt totally loved. Ooops. I meant to say, I didn't feel at all loved, not at all. And I didn't have the best time I've had in several years. Nope, not me!
And Becca, Mallorie's speech therapist, didn't seriously dance and squeal this morning when I told her that Dr. B doesn't mind us feeding Mal without a swallow study.